


Broken

by thegirlwhosalive



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwhosalive/pseuds/thegirlwhosalive
Summary: That’s why no one wants you.You’re broken.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Broken

Their laughs always seemed louder. Not in a measure of volume, but in joy. Warm, unburdened, cheer in the form of breathy exhalations and wide grins. Energy rivaling that of the sun. My own but a shadow in their presence. 

“That game was really good guys!” Sapnap exclaimed.

“Yes! Are we playing again on Saturday?” Dream questioned, his voice muffled through my headphones.

“I’m not sure if I can,” I replied, glancing over at the calendar on my wall that loomed over me with its red marks and crisp indifference.

“Aww Georgie, I’ll miss you!” Dream said, the true disappointment behind the joke only heard by me. The words striking a chord deep within, I wished I could mute the internal music my soul produced.

“I know you will,” I teased, attempting to act confident to avoid any sort of worry from the boys.

“It’s getting late guys. We should probably salvage the few hours we have left for sleep,” Sapnap stated.

Everyone left the call with goodbyes and goodnights. The late-night gaming sessions with my friends were the best parts of my week, the only parts where I felt remotely close to the old me. We had been playing together for years, grew together, supported one another, and spent hours talking about anything and everything. Though I had never truly spoke about everything. 

I hadn’t eaten since breakfast but I could not bear to wade through the ocean of silence that filled my apartment in their absence. So I trudged over to my bed and slipped under the covers. My thoughts drifting to overdue university assignments and self-loathing but I pushed them away with the idea of another world. The bed was cold, blankets not providing any heat merely magnifying what was already present, but there was nothing there. I was nothing. My slim figure felt minuscule in the face of the world and infinitesimal to the cosmos. I tried once again to slow my dark thoughts with images of honey-colored eyes. 

Georgie, I’ll miss you. 

Why did he have to go and say things like that? Shameless flirting that held no deeper meaning, nights where silence was not a dark abyss but waves of reassurance from sleeping breaths through headphones, his protectiveness shielding me from the sharp world, and worst of all every casual “I love you” that broke and healed my heart simultaneously. 

The bed was warm. A mockery of the embrace of another leftover from a dream. A reminder that in this world I was alone, a shell of the man who skipped through dreamspace, accompanied. The golden sun streaming through the window paled in comparison to phantom locks under my fingers seconds before. 

I decided that eating breakfast would be a good idea even though I didn’t feel hungry. I didn’t feel much of anything these days so that sense wasn’t my best ally in the fight to survive. Cold dry cereal was the best I could muster. As harsh pieces fell down my throat I forced myself to look at my calendar. Angry, red lettering declaring it was the last day to hand in my coding project. 

It was 2 pm when I finally started on the project, hours previous passing by in a blur of longing. I tried to do my best on the work at hand but it was a miracle I finished at all. Commands that would have been easy as pie evading my distracted brain.

I sighed as I fell to my bed, the immediate task was completed, and regard for future projects far from my mind. I scolded myself for being lazy and the red hot thought flashed within me for a moment. 

That I should be better. 

I knew it was true. I had been capable of great things but I didn’t know if I was any longer.  
His voice drifted through my mind. My soul hummed the sound of his name. I closed my eyes trying to imagine a world where I was loved. Trying to reach the peace of dreamspace if only for an instant. A chime from my phone pulled me back to reality.  
It was a message from him.

Dream  
Hey! Are you good man? I feel like you’ve seemed a bit down recently. I might be wrong but just wanted to make sure. (:

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Lifting me up saying, he cares! That he saw through me, knew me well enough to tell when I was faking happiness. 

A frown brought me back down shouting, he doesn’t care like that you fool. 

George  
Sorry, I’ve been pretty busy and tired these days. So my energy isn’t 100% but I’m all good dw. Thank you!!

A part of me wanted to scream. To yell that I wasn’t all good. That I need something, someone to help. To go on a call and finally say everything. I shoved that part down because the last thing I wanted was to burden the man I loved with the wreck of my life. With what I had become. 

Scrolling through my phone, I saw videos of classmates at parties, laughter radiating through the screen like sun rays. I saw images of boys with figures that I had once too possessed. I saw palm trees drifting through distant winds that carried the hope of one day. It was all too much. 

Everyone else was fine.

They lived, but what did I do except breathe?

I no longer felt human. Humans were supposed to learn, to create, to love, to cry, to feel.  
Textbooks felt heavy in my arms, I barely moved from my bed, was unloved, couldn’t spare another tear, and the touch of another had not graced my pale skin in years. 

And the voices in my head whispered...  
That’s why no one wants you,  
you’re broken.

**Author's Note:**

> So seven years reading fan fiction and I've finally completed one myself. Even though its just a oneshot I'm proud that I could find any motivation for it. This work is just me venting and yeah I should probably see a therapist but oh well.


End file.
